Aside from the occasional useful tidbit about local news or current events, there isn't much worth reading in our hometown newspaper. Except for the daily police blotter. I should feel grateful--and I do--for living in a community where the most action our law enforcement sees are from things like cows blocking the road or breaking up a loud college party. I've been clipping some of my personal favorites this year.
10. A person reported finding a $10 bill on E. 18th Ave. (really? so you had to call 911 about this?!)
9. A woman reported that her neighbor's dog was digging into her dog's pen in her yard. The woman said she wants to shoot the dog.
8. People described as "backpacking hippies" were reportedly hanging out by the library at CWU. (Um, did you forget that you live in Washington?? Newsflash. They're everywhere!)
7. Two men with what appeared to be a mattress on their heads and wearing women's clothing were reportedly walking in front of a building at CWU on D Street.
6. A woman reportedly accused a man of cheating, then followed him on her bicycle and tried to run him off the road. (Yes, that's right. Run him off the road. With her BIKE. And then was dumb enough to call the cops about it?!)
5. Candy was reportedly found piled up and leading in trails away from a bus stop on Alder Street. (Help! Police!! Hansel & Gretel are on the loose!)
4. An Easton resident reported that unknown subjects were attempting to steal from him in "forensic" ways.
3. A suspicious-looking short, balding man in a green jacket was reportedly using the computer next to the iguana cage in the Science Building on CWU campus.
2. A man reportedly rang a doorbell in Kittitas and told the people who answered that he was being chased by alligators. (remember kids. Crack is wack. Just say no to drugs!!)
I couldn't decide which report was the most outrageous, so the following three are tied for 1st place:
--An aggressive pack of Chihuahuas was reported on Canyon Rd.
--A man reportedly wanted to know how he could go about campaigning for a local office in Ellensburg without violating his restraining orders. (This is funny on so many levels!!)
--A woman on Dean Nicholson Blvd. reported that a classmate pulled her hair and kept the locks and said that they were going to use it for voodoo.
