George Carlin on Aging

Josh and I are both turning 30 this year. Thirty. Oy vey.

Hold on, I'm getting a little verklempt.
Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic: A Thighmaster is neither a thigh nor a master.


Discuss.



Okay. There. I feel better.


In fact, Josh's birthday is next Tuesday. Mazel Tov, honey buns. Honestly, I can not articulate why I have trepidations about reaching this milestone. I know that age is completely relative. You could be 30 and act like you're 80, or you could be 100 and live like you're 20. Take my dad for example. If you asked him how old he is, he'd probably reply, "I'm 60 years young." His outlook on aging is unlike anyone else I know. Granted, I don't think the man knows how to turn on a computer, but he's not laying around waiting to die, either.

Besides, it's not like 30 is old at all. Especially since it's 2009 and the average life expectancy in our country is 77; not 47, as it was in 1900. I think the biggest reason why I don't want to turn 30 is because it means that I'll no longer be twenty-something. Not to kvetch more than I already have, but because we live in a culture that esteems youthfulness, I just feel like when I turn 30 I'm going to turn into an old yenta and be worth bupkis. There's some Yiddish for you Linda Richman.

Here's what the late George Carlin had to say about aging. I never, ever imagined that I would quote George Carlin on this G-rated blog, but here we go. There's a first for everything!
_________________________

George Carlin:

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids?

If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five!

That's the key. You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back.

You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16!

And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. . . YES!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED, we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 . . . and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60. You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70!

After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.

And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

another riddle for you

As I'm sure you know, Dora loves riddles. Well, I have another one for you.

Q: How do you know when your clean laundry has been piling up on your bed for too long?

A: When your two year old runs in the room, points to the towering heap and exclaims, "Look! It's tallest mountain!!!"

Sequence of Events

It looks like I'm out of the running for "Mother of the Year" this year. I have a fear of my babies falling out of things; high chairs, strollers, swings, bouncy chairs, etc. Therefore I ALWAYS buckle them in as if they were going to the moon. But the one time I don't, Jayden decides to get a little frisky. I'm so relieved that he had a death grip on that bouncy chair!!




































Nobody panic. He didn't fall. I quickly picked him up after taking that first picture. I put him back in the chair and he went right back to his usual routine of giggling, kicking, and smiling.







**Disclaimer: No babies were harmed in the making of this blog post**

Back in Business

Jaclyn (January)

Joanna, newborn Jayden, and me at Suncadia's Annual Fall Festival (October)

Jaclyn saying 'cheese'

Joanna's first pony ride!! Saying that she was in heaven is an understatement. I so wish that she could have rode that pony all afternoon. This was also taken at Suncadia. (October) If I had a million dollars, I'd buy her a pony!

One day I realized that my 6 week old son was about the same size as Shrek. (October)

Jayden and I, he was almost two months old (October)

Jaclyn at the park (October)

Jaclyn and Joanna enjoying the sunny weather (October)

Story time!! (October)

This weekend I was tinkering around with our broken digital camera. Apparently that stupid thing decided that it needed a vacation for a few months because out of the blue, it has decided to work again. I hate technology! But I suppose I better not say that too loud or else the camera will hear me and then decide to go on strike again. These pictures are a little dated because they've been "trapped" inside my finicky camera.

Fun With Cousins

Joanna being a goofball. I still have yet to get a picture of her with her glasses on!

Me, Jayden (5 months), and Josh

I LOVE this picture of Jaclyn hugging Benjamin! Aren't they cute?!

Joanna and Josiah. I think they are kindred spirits. They ADORE each other. Notice Joanna's lazy eye in this picture. That was the only outward indication we had that she may have a vision problem. Her eye does that often when she's not wearing her glasses.

This past weekend we visited Josh's family on the west side and had a blast spending time with his sister, Megan, her husband, Jesse, and their 3 boys, Isaiah, Josiah, and Benjamin. It was also nice to see his grandma and grandpa Jones. Because we stayed at gma and gpa's house, it gave us an opportunity to chat with them, which was nice.

I love that we live close enough for our children to spend time playing together. I have TWO cousins. That's it. Two. And growing up I think I saw them twice. We lived far apart, for one. And as much as I wanted (and still want) to know my cousins better, it just never happened. For this reason I want to make sure that my kids have a closer, more solid relationship with their cousins.

This weekend the kids got to play together for hours. On Saturday we met up with Megan, Jesse, and the boys at the LDS church in Yelm for a Primary activity. The kids made Valentine's cards to give to nursing home residents. They played bingo, a balloon game, and had a short lesson about loving others. Then it was on to the nursing home to sing "I Am a Child of God" and hand out the cards, along with flowers.

That night the kids got to play together some more. Megan and Jesse went to the temple Saturday evening, so all the kids were together for a slumber party at grandma's. Josiah and Joanna wanted to sleep in the same bed, so I let them (against gma Patsy's wishes! shhh). Sure, they were up until 10 p.m. giggling and talking in their top secret toddler language, but the friendship and love they have for each other is just so darn cute I didn't want to deny them the opportunity to bond.

We went to church with them Sunday morning, and went over to Megan and Jesse's that night for dinner and games. The kids played together again while us adults played a rivoting game of Phase 10 at the table. It was getting late and one by one, the kids dropped like flies. They were so tuckered out from the long day! So we decided to let the girls spend the night there instead of carting them out into the cold and back to gma's house. So Josh and I got to enjoy a night and a morning of having only one child again! Wow. What a difference that was. Jayden let us sleep in until 9 a.m. Apparently he can do that when he's not woken up by his loud, rambunctious sisters! Then Monday it was back to Ellensburg. Thanks to Megan, I have these pictures to post from the weekend.